Shoutout to all the vendors in the wedding industry
DISCLAIMER
This article does not have the purpose of making cis het couples look like the villains of the story, rather than addressing a big issue within the system.
Imagine that you just got engaged and you are excited to start planning your wedding. You begin searching for venues, photographers, make up artists, etc. You see lots of websites, Instagram accounts and brochures and you never come across photos of couples that look like you and your partner.
How would that make you feel?
The wedding industry is selling the fairy tale of the young princess achieving a life goal by marrying the charming white heterosexual prince. It’s a narrative where LGBTQ+ couples live only by the edges, displayed exclusively during Pride month.
The wedding industry is telling them that their weddings are not as important and they don’t deserve to be seen.
But you know what?
WE are the wedding industry and WE need to do better.
Here’s a few tips for being more inclusive.
Don’t be scared
This all might sound overwhelming at first, and we understand that. Even we - in the LGBTQ+ community - make mistakes all the time. But that’s ok, because you want to do better. What’s important is to address our mistakes, apologize and learn from them.
Do it for the right reasons
There’s a big difference between a company that is showcasing diversity because they are a true ally or if it’s only for the sake of looking diverse and attract more clients. Companies that share photos of LGBTQ+ couples only during Pride month, or that use the hashtag #blacklivesmatter on every photo of BIPOC people, are just exploiting the market. That is called “tokenizing”.
Understand the alphabet
Take some time to learn about all the letters in LGBTQ+ and you’ll see that we’re not just homosexuals and we’re not just having same-sex weddings. There’s a whole colorful world beyond that.
Use inclusive language
The wedding industry is deeply bride-centric and words like “bride”and “groom” reiterate the idea of a binary heterosexual world. You don’t have to stop using them in your daily life, they are fine! But only for people who identify as brides and grooms.
On your website, contracts, questionnaires, etc. it would be more inclusive to use some gender-neutral words, like “wedding party” rather than bridal party, or “spouse” instead of wife.
Don’t assume anything
An email from “Sarah and Jenny” doesn’t necessarily mean that these people identify as women and they’re planning a lesbian wedding. Instead, ask about their pronouns to address your clients the right way, and don’t go any further: their sexual orientation and their gender identities are none of your business.
Be consistent
If you don’t believe in equality and you vote for politicians that don’t support LGBTQ+ rights, then you can’t ask us to make business with you. It’s as simple as that.
Advocate for us
Give back to the community and make the effort to get to know us and to understand our history and our current battles. Let everybody know where you stand, be vocal about it.
We need actions, not hashtags.
“What if I don’t get any white and straight clients anymore?”
LGBTQ+ rights are human rights, and if people don’t want to work with you because you support equality, then maybe you should reconsider doing business with them. Good people, regardless of their skin color, gender identity and sexual orientation, will only admire you if you support a good cause.